Is Avoidance Shameful but Useless? Psychologists Reveal How Facing Shame Helps Overcome Addiction
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## Addiction Dilemma Imagine a man who lost his job due to long-term alcoholism, with family relationships shattered, even resorting to stealing money for alcohol.
Is Avoidance Shameful but Useless? Psychologists Reveal How Facing Shame Helps Overcome Addiction
Addiction Dilemma
Imagine a man who lost his job due to long-term alcoholism, with family relationships shattered, even resorting to stealing money for alcohol. When sober, terrible memories flood in: drunk driving almost hitting someone, broken promises, constant lies...This isn't a movie plot but the real experiences of 14 addicted men. Research found they broke the "shame-addiction" vicious cycle through "self-forgiveness."
4R Model Analysis
Responsibility
Reduce blame-shifting, accept behavior inconsistent with values, acknowledge harm caused to others.Remorse
Experience painful emotions like shame and guilt, marking the beginning of facing mistakes rather than avoiding them.Restoration
Repair harm through actions like apologies and compensation, reconnecting with personal values.Renewal
Release self-condemnation, cultivate compassion, achieve psychological renewal.Research Methods
The research team used Interpersonal Process Recall (IPR) method, replaying therapy segments and conducting semi-structured interviews to deeply understand addicts' self-forgiveness process.Three-Stage Journey
Withdrawal Stage
Numb pain with alcohol, drugs, or self-isolation, essentially using substances to mask value collapse.Reflection Stage
Through "two-chair dialogue" games, realizing "I've been using shame to emotionally manipulate myself."Recovery Stage
Achieve transformation from self-loathing to self-reconciliation through symbolic repairs like writing apology letters or empty-chair apologies.Treatment Mechanisms
Value-Driven
Rebuild values through actions, "doing things worthy of a decent person, learning to like myself again."Emotional Transformation
Moderate remorse actually serves as a catalyst for quitting addiction - shame makes people avoid, remorse inspires repair actions.Practical Techniques
Two-Chair Self-Healing Method
Write self-criticism and forgiveness desires as two scripts, read them aloud with different tones.Empty-Chair Apology Ritual
Speak apologies to someone while facing an empty chair, even just saying "I shouldn't have..."Shame Transformation Diary
Write down: Which value was violated? What can I do now to make amends?Ice Melting Meditation
Close eyes, imagine heart wrapped in ice, gradually melting with deep breathing.Summary Insights
Self-forgiveness isn't self-deception but using scientific methods to transform shame into fuel for change.Remember: When we learn to change "I'm a terrible person" to "I made a mistake," we can truly achieve psychological growth and transformation.
