What to Do About Children's Behavior Problems? Psychologists Teach You to Use "Solution-Focused" Methods to Replace Traditional Criticism

What to Do About Children's Behavior Problems? Psychologists Teach You to Use "Solution-Focused" Methods to Replace Traditional Criticism

Traditional Education Dilemma

In parenting, many parents face behavioral challenges: some children are impulsive and prone to tantrums, others are silent and avoid social interactions. Parents often get stuck asking "why is this happening," trying to find root causes with little effect.

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Introduction

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) offers a new approach: don't obsess over problem causes but focus on how to drive change.

Behavior Problem Classification

Child and adolescent behavior problems divide into two types: - **Externalizing Behaviors**: Impulsivity, opposition, rule-breaking (3%-5% boys, 1%-2% girls) - **Internalizing Behaviors**: Silence, sensitivity, social avoidance

Core Concept

Change doesn't necessarily require fully understanding problem roots—the key is focusing on children's "exception moments" when they perform better.

Research Validated Effectiveness

Researchers analyzed 20 controlled studies from 1990-2019, finding SFBT generally effective for child/adolescent behavior problems, but effectiveness varies.

Externalizing Behavior Significant Effect

Very significant effects on aggressive behaviors, tantrums, etc. For example: children reducing conflicts from 3 times daily to once every 3 days.

Internalizing Behavior Limited Effect

Less significant effects on anxiety, inferiority complex, etc., requiring longer parental observation and patient guidance.

Different Behavior Type Differences

Difference Reason Analysis

- **Externalizing Behaviors**: Visible and tangible, easy to observe and reinforce with feedback - **Internalizing Behaviors**: Hidden deep inside, progress subtle, requires keen detection

Parent Participation Importance

Many believe education requires whole-family cooperation, but research finds SFBT effectiveness isn't significantly affected by direct parent participation.

Indirectly Mobilizing Family Power

Mobilize family power indirectly through questions, like asking children "What might Dad say seeing you didn't lose temper today?" guiding children to focus on family expectations.

Practical Technique Sharing

1. Exception Recording

Prepare a small notebook, spend 1 minute daily recording specific good behaviors, like "voluntarily put bowl in sink," "put away 2 toys by self." Consistent recording reveals many child strengths.

2. Miracle Question

Spend 5 minutes before bed: "Suppose a little magic tonight makes all your recent worries disappear—what's the first difference you'd notice tomorrow morning?" Then ask "What's the first step you could take?"

3. Specific Praise

Avoid vague praise—point out specific behaviors. For example: "Although you played with eraser during homework today, you finished eventually—progress!"

Summary and Outlook

Through these methods, SFBT concepts can be applied to daily life. Instead of obsessing over behavior problem causes, actively seek change-driving methods to help children grow better.

Remember: Focusing on "how to do" is more important than asking "why." When children have behavior problems, rather than criticizing, find their "exception moments" and guide change positively.